It’s funny, and a little strange that as I start to wind things up that have been a journey of sorts in the Far North, I’ve found myself in places that make me appreciate what it means to have come from such a great community. And these things I’ve discovered have all happened organically, that is without deliberate intention on my part to chase the best out of this place that I call home before my impending departure.
Yesterday I visited the place I went to school in Taipa
It’s been ten years since I returned to Northland, and the place that I grew up. I can’t really recall a time that I was truly upset about being here, because it’s home, it’s the place that I can take my shoes off, put my feet in the dirt and feel like I’m born of it. I have a story to tell of the majority of locations North of the Mangamuka Gorge, and West of Mangonui. Nothing of real significance, but more of the “I remember the time…” variety. This ‘bowl’ that I grew up in shielded me from the rest of the world, until I was old enough to venture past the invisible boundaries on my own. And even in to adulthood, there’s something about rounding the bend and coming down the hill by the Taupo Bay turnoff that resonates within and says, “I am home”.
Last week I made a trip in to Kaitaia and I thought about when I had come back in 2004. The vast majority of my school friends had now begun their lives elsewhere, or had started having babies of their own. For a while it felt pretty lonely, and that was probably when I begun to wonder how I was ever going to start over and make friends again. For the most part, I believed that I was shy and would find it difficult to get people to like me. Why would a complete stranger take interest in me? How could I trick them in to wanting to stay a little while, get to know me and not come off desperate enough that they exit stage left at the first opportunity?
I began working in a local bar and suddenly interesting people were filling my life with little, to no cunning tricks used on my part. Had I actually found people that didn’t see the desperate-to-be-liked person lurking just below the surface of my skin? And I would find my internal monologue proclaiming loudly, “you like me!”, while my external body language would read as, “Sure, we can hang out sometime, I’ll see if I can find time to fit you in”. I probably wasn’t as suave and cool as I’m thinking I came off, but let’s let history be just that shall we?
So, back to my trip to Kaitaia last week (side-note, can you tell how easy it is for me to fall off topic and ramble on when there was probably a faster way to reach the destination?). I had parked my car and was walking through town and a person that I hadn’t seen for some time stopped me, gave me a hug and asked how I was, how Ryan was doing in Whakatane and when I start my new job in Rotorua? I felt a little guilty for the delay in my head that didn’t let me recognise them instantly, but the overwhelming feeling I took away from that interaction was that this person and I had crossed paths at a particular time and we had affected each others lives.
This continued to happen throughout the day, and I had to scold myself because I had begun to tire of the same conversation, the same questions, and the niceties. Why was I not appreciating the beautiful thing happening that was a person who was taking the time out of their day to open the pages of my book and read a few pages of the story? I felt an overwhelming sense that I was being unappreciative and that was a decisive moment for me when I told myself not to let these moments be fleeting. To be as invested in them as the other person, be present and live in it. And I can attest that this happened throughout the rest of the day with numerous other people. I reflected back on that person that felt so lonely ten years ago, desperate to be noticed by others and I found myself appreciating every person that I spoke to that day. I was driving home with a smile on my face that filled my whole being with warmth.
That night, I had friends and my Mum come and stay with me. We were cooking dinner and chatting away, and unbeknownst to them, I was stealing little moments away in my head. Now, I’m not religious or anything; I believe in ‘something’, I’m just not sure what, but I found myself thinking, “Thank you”, because these friends had come into my life and had chosen to be here with my Mum and I. I’m very well aware that I’m a grown man, but let’s be honest. Anyone who knows me personally, knows that my Mum is my best friend, someone that I could hang out with, and choose to over doing other things because she knows and understands me completely and we always have fun. I’m fortunate to have had as great a relationship as it is with my Mum. This evening I was thankful for as well.
Over the weekend I visited The Earth House in Peria. I will admit that I am somewhat embarrassed that it has taken me so long to get out there and see it, because it’s only a short fifteen minute drive from where I currently reside. The Earth House is open on Saturdays and Sundays and is run by a group of passionate people in the first in situ adobe earth building in New Zealand. Now, I can’t give too much away about it because I really do want you to get out there and visit for yourself, if only to take in the amazing work that was undertaken to create this fantastic community space.
The Earth House greets you with not only the friendliest people, who you would be forgiven for thinking that you’ve known a long time as they are so approachable, but the building itself welcomes you in with its gentle curves and feeling that it too, comes from this land. I was greeted by Nicole, and Donna who I had met last year at the Doubtless Bay Farmers Market. Donna had left a wonderful impression on me when we had first met, as her presence just radiates light and the spirit of someone who is truly present in this life. Donna had encouraged Ryan and I to visit The Earth House at that first meeting and the action of actually doing so had been relegated to the ever increasing pile of things to get around to. In an attempt to remove some of the things off the list, I can now say I wish I had visited sooner.
The Earth House runs on a gifting economy, whereby you will be offered food and drink when you enter, however it is up to you to decide what you will pay for it. I had never heard of a gifting economy before I had met Donna, but it is an amazing idea that just works. Donna, as do all of the other people that were inside The Earth House while we were present, made me feel welcome, at ease and as though I was at home. I could have just whiled away the hours, sitting in the sun and taking in my surroundings. I don’t think I’ve felt as at peace as I did there, in a long time.
As we were leaving, Donna advised that a group of them would be going to 1904 cafè in Mangonui that evening to feast on the fabulous Italian menu that a friend of theirs cooks on Fridays and Saturdays, and asked if we would like to join them. I’m so thankful that I was able to make it there to devour what is possibly the best risotto I have ever had, good company and wonderful conversation. I’ve learned to be present in the moment, and I found some very interesting people that through a series of events that lead me to being in the right place at the right time meant my life has been enriched. Isn’t that just beautiful? I truly encourage you to go and see The Earth House for yourself. There is no cellphone reception there, so if you’re a techhead like me it forces you to be present and to look and absorb everything. It’s perfect.
Today I spent a few hours with my Cousin Bonnie and her two daughters, Lara and Erika and we Skyped for an hour and a half with Holly and Julia in Australia. I refer back to the beginning of this entry; it’s all happening organically that in the lead up to my relocation, in a way I’m saying “seeya later”, without actually needing to verablise it. And that’s how I want it to be; no goodbyes, just seeya later. And so this blog entry is a thank you to all of the people that I have met in the last ten years or so. To anyone who I’m fortunate to have that cares about me, because even if I don’t say it all the time, or at all, I’m pretty sure it’s reciprocated and I care about you too.
The Ilum 